Explanation and Details of my Divorce
I had been in the Military for almost three years when my
permanent duty station was changed from Korea to Ft. Lewis, Washington, in
1990. This was during a time in my life when I was unsaved and actively running
from the godly upbringing of my family. I met my wife during a night of
partying and after a couple of weeks we got an apartment and moved in together.
We lived life like the prodigal son did with his friends for several months
before we got married in the home of some retired preacher.
We lived as a married couple for several more months before
she left for the first time to stay with one of my so-called friends. After a
month and many conversations between us, I convinced her to come home. This
happened several times over the course of six months with two different men.
Each time she left, I finally convinced her to come home until I left for TDY
(temporary duty status). When I came home, she had left a letter and some of my
stuff with my First Sergeant. The letter told me that she did not want to be
married anymore and had moved in with a girlfriend; she was not going to tell
me where she was or who she was with because she did not want me to talk her
out of it again. She then filed for divorce and I refused to sign. All of this
went on over the course of almost two years. During this time I had sporadic
conversations with Kelly and continued to try to get her to reconcile. The
entire marriage was a long and drawn out process of her leaving and coming back
until she left for good.
In 1992, my permanent duty station was moved to Hawaii. When
I failed to convince Kelly to move with me, I lost contact with her. I was
stationed in Hawaii for three years with no contact from her even though I
tried to reestablish contact repeatedly. After I left the Army, I moved to Iowa
and lived with my grandfather. Since I could not find Kelly anywhere and it had
been almost 5 years, I filed for divorce on the grounds of abandonment.
After I married Terri, my current wife, I was saved (as you
have read or will read in my testimony). Since I have been saved, I have
repented for my share of the problems and faults in the failure of my first
marriage and I have been forgiven. I did find and contact Kelly again after I
married Terri, and apologized to her at that time. I have had no further
contact with her. I have also asked Terri to forgive me for not being in a
state of purity when we got married and for the baggage that I brought into our
marriage from my first marriage and many improper relationships I had before we
were married and I received Christ as my Savior. Terri and I have been married
for almost 20 years and, even though we have had hard times, I wouldn’t trade
any of it for anything in the world. God in His grace has blessed me with a
wonderfully beautiful wife who is my first accountability partner, my sounding
board, and my helpmate. She is truly my better half and we continuously strive
for the perfecting of our one flesh.
